I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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