Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
