Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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