I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
