either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
