fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
my being single is dangerous.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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