We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
