I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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