matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
