I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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