do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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