You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
