There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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