I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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