I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
tonight lets celebrate not being married
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
