You smell like a Billy Joel song
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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