if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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