You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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