You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
