I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
