Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
