What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
