I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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