My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We got so high we made milksteak
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
