Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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