I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
