i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
