i would punch a child for taco bell
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize