She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize