Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
