Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
