Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
