Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
