i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
