How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize