She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Is it penis luge time yet?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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