Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
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