Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
