pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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