I just made out with a guy for $7.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
should my penis look like a turkey
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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