Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
