I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
