Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
