im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
