Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
