Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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