Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
