In the future we'll all be gay
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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