he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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