I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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