I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
