the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
