ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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