her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
