I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize