Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
