As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
