So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
