I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
