put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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