she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
