I'd wear matching sweaters with you
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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