I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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