Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The feeling are messing with the penis
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
