I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize