sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
